How Your Self-Worth = Your Success
"Everything that exists in your life, does so because of two things: something you did or something you didn't do."
-Albert Einstein
If you knew on every level of your being (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) that you could achieve or thrive in a certain endeavor that you've been longing for, would you do it?
Of course you would because it would mean that you have high self-worth; the kind that deems you capable and deserving of such success. You most likely wouldn’t even think twice about whatever it is, that’s how natural it would feel.
I deeply believe everything you achieve and receive is a direct reflection of your self-worth in addition to a little perseverance.
I was having a chat with a friend the other day on this very topic. I told him this exact thought and he asked for an example of low self-worth and the outcome.
Here was my example on LOW self-worth and it's outcome:
I’m going to let you in on one of my most soul-baring and soul-yearning dreams...
Singing.
Since I was 9 years old, I wanted to be a singer. I felt in every inch throughout my body that this is why I was on this earth— to sing the song I had inside me. But there has been an ongoing challenge:
I’m afraid as fck.
Do I believe I am a good singer? Yes. Have people told me that I am a good singer? Yes. So what the hell is holding me back? My low self-worth around the uncertainty of judgement and success. I don’t deeply believe to the point of KNOWING that I am good enough to pursue this dream of mine. Could I say 'fck it' and try it out? Absolutely, but I get nauseous at just the thought!
My point is this: I am not experiencing something I want because I don’t fully believe/know that I will achieve the desired outcome. If I knew that I would be well-received and successful, would I pursue it? Yes. But I’m too nervous to even try, so I don’t, which puts me in a position of lacking something I deeply desire. The outcome? There is none.
Wait, whoa, I literally just received a little 'download' after typing that... and a new article topic!!
Is the fear of not pursuing something we desire less painful than potentially trying and failing at this very thing?
On High Self-Worth
Self-worth is your unquestionable value in any given situation, relationship or carrying out an idea/dream regardless of what anyone else says. At times, it comes naturally, other times, it is learned and cultivated through practice.
Self-worth has the ability to discourage or encourage incredible opportunities in your life. It is up to you to convince yourself that you are deserving and worthy of such success. It can be as small as striking up a conversation with a stranger you find attractive, or something on the larger scale like starting a business or pursuing a dream.
My point is this, if you have low self-worth, there is a good chance you do not believe in yourself enough to succeed in the things others are thriving in. You may not be trying which means you haven't even given yourself the opportunity to find out if you'd be successful. Low self-worth = low/ no success.
Here are a few ways to build your worth in relationships and pursuing your dreams.
In Dreams/ Aspirations
Perspective
It. Is. All. Perspective. The only person saying you can’t pursue your dreams is yourself. And if someone has actually told you that you cannot succeed, YOU are the one believing them. A former colleague outright told me I was a shitty writer, but in like, a professional manner (lmao). If I had held onto his words and believed them, I wouldn’t have started this blog. I came to this simple realization and it shifted SO many things for me: ‘You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there is still going to be somebody who hates peaches’. Someone’s perception of something is typically jaded by their preference. So don't get offended when someone prefers something else.
Practice
The quickest way to convince yourself of your worth is to practice whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. Remember that really annoying saying we would always hear growing up?— 'Practice Makes Perfect'. How can you deny success if you’ve practiced to the point of (or close to) perfection? Ya can’t.
Find an 'Expander'
Search for a friend, colleague or public figure doing something you wish and dream of doing. The first step is to SEE someone else doing it. This allows you to believe such success is possible for you as well.
Accountability
Hold yourself accountable by setting deadlines or hold yourself publicly accountable! Set a launch date, tell a friend or tell the world and ask them to check-in to see your progress. Check out this article where i'm asking YOU to hold me accountable on something! ;)
In Relationships
Set Boundaries
This is a great way to build on your self-assurance and worth. When you set boundaries, it teaches people how to treat you. When you stand in the respect you’re setting as your standard, people mirror that. On the off chance that you’re dating a total moron who doesn’t see your worth, I hope you recognize their inability to treat you with the respect you know you deserve. Once you recognize it, please leave for your own well-being. There is no greater act of self-love than walking away from something or someone who doesn’t fully appreciate you.
Practice
Lol, not kidding. Whether if your goal is to ask out your crush, practice by chatting up other people. The easiest way to strike up conversation with a stranger is to compliment them. Possibly compliment their outfit or comment on their food/beverage order if you're out and about!
I hope these little examples have shown you how crucial it truly is to nurse your self-worth because it is what shapes your choices and overall life. You are the only person you need validation from.
I'm personally beginning to embody the possibility of having everything I want to experience in this life. Because when you believe you are capable/deserving, you no longer question why you don't have it, you begin to question what you need to do in order to achieve it.
Go get 'em😎.
