Feb 10

Feb 10 When Should You Have The What Are We Talk?

I’ll be the first one to admit and explain that relationship advice and topics are extremely subjective. Mainly because, feelings, values and beliefs are all subject to change based on new evidence or people coming into one’s life. This is why I love relationship data… regardless of the 'ifs ands or buts’, the data tells us that ‘typically’, ‘usually’, and ‘ideally’ x would be the case. Which gives us a far better gauge on these things when men and women are giving their honest and anonymous answers on the taboo topics we’re all curious about!

How long until ‘hanging out’ is considered dating?

Based on 615 women and 394 men who voted.

When should you have the what are we conversation?

The majority of men and women (40%) believe 2 months into exploring and getting to know one another is considered dating. Does that mean that you two are now exclusive? No. BUT, it does mean that you can bring up your questions about each other’s intentions within the partnership.

Based on the data, if you don’t know where you stand with someone after 2 months of exploring things with them, you could bring up the ‘what are we’ conversation.

I applaud couples that casually and naturally flow into a committed relationship without ever having to officially discuss it. But that’s not typically the case in our world today.

With the majority of couples now meeting online through dating apps or social platforms like Instagram, we truly do not know how many other people our potential lover could be talking to via these apps and social platforms.

How do you ask the what are we question?

Personally, I’m ruthless about my time and energy - where I invest it and who I share it with. If I feel confused about a situation, I would much rather get an answer than waste my time in an unreciprocated partnership. Maybe that answer won’t be one I’m hoping for, or maybe it will be. But I won’t know until I ask for clarity and honesty.

When you bring up the ‘what are we’ talk, I suggest keeping it light hearted and playful (depending on the time frame). I understand how daunting this conversation could feel, but I promise it’s worth asking if you see potential with this person.

I hope this insight helped you gain some confidence or clarity within your situation! If you found this article helpful, please share it with your friends!

With love,
Stephanie Daily