How TF Do I Self Care?
Today I came across a post on Insta about self love. It read, “Work daily on being in love with the person in the mirror”. I had a gripe reading this because it gave no guidance. First off, being in love with yourself is such a foreign concept. Does that mean you’re conceited? Does that mean you are literally IN LOVE with yourself? Is that even a thing? Lmao. I truly have a hard time understanding this concept but I’m slowly beginning to chip away at it.
“Work daily on being in love with the person in the mirror”… Please stop here, verified user. Does this mean you have to change the way you look in order to “love” yourself? I understand the point they were (hopefully) trying to make but I think this simple sentence can be taken the wrong way, especially with all the false social standards floating around today.
Self love is an act, a daily practice and an avid choice you continue making. I have noticed that self love/care become a priority when you choose love over emotional pain. The most common pain that ignites this practice stems from self sabotaging, losing someone or allowing people to invade your personal boundaries. Self love arises when your spirit has fallen— when your only choice is to start over, this time, with your mind, body and spirit as the priority. You begin asking yourself what you need, what feels right, and who feels right. You begin to notice the negative thoughts and challenge their validity. Self love is discovered within yourself and its practiced through self care. Self care is when you protect your mind, body and spirit from anything or anyone who may negatively affect any of the three. It is not a selfish act, its a mindful act.
Imagine treating yourself the same way you would treat a partner you love— with respect, loyalty and patience (just to name a few).
Respect: This is the only mind, body and spirit you will get to experience. Build your self-worth so others know how to respect you the same way you respect yourself. Why would you want to spend it longing to be something/someone else? That sounds like a terrible way to live a life when you have a perfect canvas to begin with.
Loyalty: Remain loyal to your core values. Maybe you have new values after learning from past experiences: You set new boundaries, or begin saying no to bad habits/influences— you determine what is the best for you and your well-being. If something/someone no longer positively influences you/your life, its ok to let it/them go. Figure out what you value, (respect, honesty, emotional stability, etc…) and give yourself just that. You may need to be alone in order to solidify your values and practice prioritizing them.
Patience: Self care is something you avidly choose to do everyday, internally and externally. There are going to be moments when you replay painful memories or become anxious for what the future may bring, but I promise, life is so much sweeter when you remain present. They say “where your energy goes, your energy flows”… Imagine what focusing on yourself and what is best for you today, and everyday thereafter looks like. When you begin to fulfill what your mind, body and spirit have been longing for, you won’t be the same. You will begin protecting yourself and what you’ve been working so hard on mending (confidence, self-worth, mental/physical health, etc…).
YOU are responsible for your mind, body and spirit. YOU choose how you treat yourself. YOU choose who you let in… and kick out. Choose forgiveness, loyalty, patience and respect for yourself. I'm not sure if self love can be fully accomplished but I believe it is practiced, felt and enjoyed in the moment.
