First Date Turn Offs Pt. 2
Leave it to me to ask the questions people are too afraid to ask, and definitely leave it to me to share the answers 😉. Here is part 2 of the first date tips, advice and turn-offs series. If you missed part 1, read it here.
1. Complaining/ negative energy
Something I deeply value is positivity and peace. If someone is constantly gossiping, putting others down or living from a pessimistic outlook on life, they are not someone I want to share my time and energy with. If someone is complaining/ generally negative and its ONLY THE FIRST DATE, that’s a big red flag in my book.
TTYN. (Talk to you never).
2. Being cocky
There is a very fine line between confidence and cockiness. Confidence is strong, magnetic yet humble. Cockiness is obnoxious and arrogant. People who are genuinely confident have nothing to prove and therefore do not go our of their way to boast, flash and compete. Cockiness is loud, unnecessarily competitive and extremely egotistical.
Make sure you’re walking on the line of knowing you are worthy and therefore you have nothing to prove or convince anyone of - that is magnetic.
If you don’t yet follow me on Instagram, click here to follow. I’m always posting content and sharing data on relevant topics!
3. Poor Manners
No please and thank yous? That’s a thank you, next from me.
Side note: One of my pet peeves is when people take food off my plate without asking. I will OBVIOUSLY give them whatever bite they want but I find it to be bad form if they just stake into my plate - bleh, mini turn off. Ask and you shall receive.
Other examples of poor manners:
- Chewing with your mouth open
- Talking with food in your mouth
- Listening to respond instead of genuinely listening and understanding
- Talking over someone
- Gossiping
- Constantly interrupting someone
4. Talking too much about themselves
I know you may want to come off as interesting but make sure you are also INTERESTED in your date :).
5. Not asking enough questions about their date
Here are a few questions you can ask on a first date:
What does a typical day look like for you?
If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go?
What were you like as a kid?
Do you have any pet peeves?
What’s the best advice anyone ever gave you?
PSA: By sharing personal and emotional exchanges, you can promote connection, according to psychology professor Arthur Aron, psychology professor at State University of New York at Stony Brook.
6. “When a woman does not offer to pitch on the tab”
A lot of men told me that they think it’s rude when a woman doesn’t at least offer to pitch in. I was raised to always offer, so I will always offer but full transparency here… during they very early stages of dating where the guy is *most likely* asking the woman out… NO, we do not want to pay for a date we were invited on by a guy who also most likely chose the time and place.
So ladies, offer to pitch on the tab. If they accept your offer, it’s up to you to determine if you’re still interested in exploring things with them.
7. And on the flip side… asking the women to split the bill.
Unless something completely out of line happened on the date, if YOU, as a man, invited this person on the date, you should be paying. I can guarantee your date was not planning on spending their money on a random day/night. You asked them out, likely chose the time and place— you should pay. If you can’t afford to be constantly dating and taking potential partners out, start off with something more casual like a coffee date, beach walk or some other activity.
8. Talking about past flings/ sexual adventures
I’m all for transparency and fun conversations but I strongly advise against talking about your past during the early dating stages. A lot of men mentioned this as a deal breaker/ turn off. They may entertain and even engage in the conversation but men will typically categorize you based on these kinds of conversations. People want to feel special and desired. Talking about intimate things is an intimate thing. When you casually share and laugh about your sexual past on the first date, you devalue yourself based on how much your date values intimacy. Men like easy, but they don’t necessarily value it.
RELATED ARTICLE: First date turn offs part 1
Thank you to everyone who shared their insight with me! If you don’t yet follow me on Instagram, click here to follow. I’m always posting content and sharing data on similar topics to these ^ :).
With love,
Stephanie
