Dating Deal Breakers and Deal Makers
I asked 35 ladies and 35 gents what their dating “deal breakers” and “deal makers” were. Here are the findings: men and women had the same top two deal breakers!
1. Poor Manners
I can personally relate to this deal breaker because it is one of my own. I believe one’s lack of manners says a lot about their self awareness. If someone lacks the awareness of a behavior that has the potential of affecting you, it’s quite telling of your future together. Please take their inability to gauge how their social-decency and personal behavior affects people as a yuge red flag.
Lacking manners says either of these two things: A.) this person does not care enough about this date to even try to impress you, or B.) they lack self-awareness and you need to bounce baby out that door. You receive what you tolerate, always remember that. It can also be an indicator that this person is entitled and or selfish. Thank you, next.
How To Identify Poor Manners:
Being rude to others (namely restaurant staff)
Talking with your mouth full (poor table-side manners)
Not asking you questions in return
Having phone out during a date/using it
Flakiness
Ultimately, you determine what you believe to be poor manners. These are just a few that men and women specifically mentioned.
2. Bad Hygiene
Apparently this checklist is warranted based on how many men and women voted on the same deal breaker.
Have you showered today?
With body wash and a luffa?
Did you floss and brush your pearly whites?
Is your hair greasy AF? Yes, this counts for men too. I don’t like to wash my hair everyday so I use Batiste's dry hair shampoo. It works like a charm and smells SO good! @Batiste, my Venmo username is @StephanieDaily.
Are you wearing deodorant? Personally, I always have gum, lotion, a perfume roller and a travel-sized deodorant in my car's center console. (ICE)
Does your clothing smell like you just left the gym? Because if so, I will not be stepping a foot into your house. I’ll assume your entire house smells like you just tried to cover up the same stench with Fabreeze.
How tidy is your car? You’re an adult, please clean your car. I get it, sometimes those pesky In-N-Out fries sprout a second leg and jump out of the bag, but find that little guy before it's too late.
How often do you wash your sheets? Quite honestly, there is nothing better than cozying up in freshly cleaned sheets. #SimplePleasures
When is the last time you vacuumed your floors/ tended to general house cleanliness?
WOMEN'S TOP DEAL BREAKERS
Poor Manners
Bad Hygiene
Poor Communication
Talking About Their Ex
Flakiness
No Goals/Aspirations For Their Future
Using Too Many Emojis via Text
Complaining About Money
If They’re On The Phone The Entire Time
If A Gent Calls Her Dude
Must Have Same Faith/Background
Trump Lover
If Their Dating Apps Are Going Off During The Date
MEN'S TOP DEAL BREAKERS
Poor Manners
Bad Hygiene
Clingy/Demanding Women
Flakiness
Getting Too Drunk On First Few Dates
Can’t Get Along With Eachother’s Friends
Talking About Their Ex
If They’re On The Phone The Entire Time
Unappreciative
Nail Hygiene (NO JOKE LADIES. YES, MULTIPLE MEN SAID BAD NAILS WERE A DEAL BREAKER).
Cat Ownership
Veganism
Bad Credit
WOMEN'S TOP DEAL MAKERS
Ambition/Confidence
A Good Sense Of Humor
Intelligence
Authenticity/Compassion
Honesty/Loyalty
Effective Communication
Has Their Sh*t Together (Takes care of themselves physically, emotionally and mentally) *No one said financially but I’m going to go ahead and put that in here because we all want a financially responsible mate.*
Physical Attraction
Good Relationship with Family
Humility
MEN'S TOP DEAL MAKERS
A Good Sense Of Humor
Intelligence
Has Their Sh*t Together (Takes care of themselves physically, emotionally and mentally) *No one said financially but I’m going to go ahead and put that in here because we all want a financially responsible mate.*
Physical Attraction
Ambition/Confidence
Self Respect
Authenticity/Compassion
Honesty/Loyalty
Humility
Good Relationship with Family
So! It really comes down to where you are in your life and if you’re ready to accept what you truly value in a relationship. If you say you value honesty but you’re investing your time and feelings into Sketchy (but sexy) Susan/Seth, there is a deeper issue at hand. You receive what you tolerate, remember?
EVERYONE has the potential to be great. That is simply because you are imagining that Sketchy Susan/Seth has the potential not to be sketchy— but they’re still sketchy. You've fallen in lust with the potential you created all on your own. Props to your role-playing but let’s focus on opening up to the authentic and reciprocating mate, not the potential you've created for someone else. Aside from your not-so-Broadway-worthy roleplaying, your challenges could lie within your attachment strategy.
One last thing to note... I feel that it is fair to give someone a second chance, (unless you're deeply intuitive and you know they won't make the cut, lol). First dates can be so damn awkward, especially if the chemistry isn't present right from the start. It could be because you/your date are too focused on your behavior, speech and awkward silences to actually notice if something is there. Unless explained/justified, I do believe poor manners and bad hygiene to be solid deal breakers. It's hard to get excited about seeing Smelly Sam and Betchy Beth again, I get it. That being said, ladies and gents, please be mindful of your behavior in your personal and social affairs, but most importantly brush your fcking teeth.
Sincerely, Stephanie Daily and the 70 men and women who submitted their input.
Shoutout to everyone who sent in their responses! Thank you!!!
