You know those feelings you get when you’re beginning to really like someone? The mini rush behind each buzz hoping that it’s them texting or calling you. That each look and touch is initiated or playfully reciprocated. The unspoken electric and magnetic essence of you two together. The feeling that everything is just a little brighter, tastier and you’re overall happier.

I don’t believe people take the time to have a healthy reflection within their relationships, especially at the beginning. Which is odd to me (now) because that is when it is most important. I believe people show you who they are within the first couple of weeks of knowing one another.

I can look back at each of my ‘serious’ relationships and now understand that the other person did in fact show me who they really were right from the beginning. I unconsciously chose to ignore it because I was longing to be loved and I didn’t even know it. Isn’t it crazy how our mind and even body can do that? We are often blinded from red flags by passion and excitement of the new or unattainable.

But if we just tune in and trust a little more, our highly intelligent mind and body can tell us when someone is and isn’t right for us and our well-being. It’s called intuition/body awareness and self-awareness, and everyone has access to it.

Intuition/Body Awareness

Your body can literally reject someone. Do you ever just get a bad ‘vibe’ or weird feeling from someone? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. But in order to discover this, you have to be extremely present, still and aware of your external and internal environment. Next time you’re around someone, try to become extremely present and ask yourself, ‘how do I feel around this person?’ Feelings can be: protected, anxious, comfortable, scared, excited, numb, secure, drained, closed off (tightness in the chest/throat) etc…

Don’t over think it and don’t lock into to the first few thoughts that come up. Just listen and feel. You’ll be shocked at how much information our body picks up on. I believe we’ve become disconnected from our mind to our body and vice versa. It is up to us to reconnect the two. Why? Because you basically become a psychic and steer clear of people who are not of value to you and your well-being. Who wouldn’t want that?!

Self-Awareness

When I begin to really like someone I take time to reflect on why. Like many other people, in the past, I have accepted less than what I deserved. Those experiences allowed me to break free from a heartbreak pattern. I now ask myself ‘why?’ often. Why do I like this person so much?— 

• What do I like about this person?

• Are their actions lining up with their words and promises?

• Does this person respect me?

• Is this person good for my mental health? E.g. Does this person play games because they think that will intrigue me? (P.s., it won’t.)

• Does this person know their own needs?

• Is this person self-aware?

• Is this person considerate?

• Do we have aligned values?

• Is this person consistent?

• Are they investing in me as much as I am investing in them?

Being attractive, funny and rich is great and all but there are more important things than that. Things that aren’t so surface-leveled. If this person in question has more No’s than Yes’s on that list, I would encourage you to communicate your needs with them. If after you communicate your needs and this person isn’t able to respect and hold space for them, I’m not sure about them being your person, are you? Don’t overdeliver because they are underdelivering. You can’t ask too much from the right person, however, you can ask too much from the wrong person.

Your questions might be different… but I wanted to give you some inspiration for creating your own. Taking the time to slow down, tune into your body and ask questions like this is SO important because it reconnects you to your core— your needs, truth and values. When you’re connected with yourself on all levels, you become SO magnetic and powerful. AND… you’ll see how easy it is to recognize when someone is or isn’t good for you and your well-being.

Ok! That’s all I have for ya.

With love, 
Stephanie Daily