19 Tips for Online Dating
Sincere without being creepy.
Witty without being annoying.
Bold but not abrasive.
Intriguing without being sketchy.
Flirtatious without being a sleaze... I’m talking about ONLINE DATING.
The fine lines between being a clever diamond in the rough or a X total X fcking X weirdo X. You get maybe 10 seconds to catch someone’s attention through:
A.) Carefully crafted wit and sincerity
B.) Strategically placed pictures
C.) Being physically attractive
I know C.) sounds awful, but it’s true. You are judging and being judged for the way you look in your pictures. If you’re saying wow that’s unfair, yes it is. BUT good looks aside, if your responses are witty and engaging, you already have an advantage over the mundane majority.
Generally speaking, online or in person, you basically have to become a sexy Rubik’s cube. Charming and classy in addition to ‘what the hell is going through this beautiful mind’ is the sweet spot. How TF do you know if you’re doing any of those three things the right way? Great question. After auditing loads of online profiles including my friends’ (honestly, I can’t help myself. My jaw has literally dropped when reading/seeing some of the most absurd profiles (yes, I will show you some) and someone needs to make it stop. Hence where I come in.) I’m officially appointing myself as your online dating profile/app guru. DM me if you'd like for me to run a full audit on your dating profile(s). The catch? My time is money, honey, and this service is not free of charge. What I can promise you is that it is affordable and you’ll receive far more matches than ever before. Inquire here: @stephanierdaily or hello@selfcareeverydamnday.com
Like mentioned above, this article was inspired by some of the silliest answers on apps such as Hinge (see below). I of course wanted to stop cringing so I asked our community what their "Dos and Donts" of online dating are in hopes of helping the collective naivety that seems to be present.
DON’T
I really shouldn't even have to say this but DO FCKING NOT PHOTOSHOP YOUR PICTURES. If you are guilty of this and have wondered why your potential prince/princess suddenly ghosted you, it is most likely because they believe they just got Catfished by your FALSE ADVERTISING.
Gents, go ahead and delete ALL your shirtless mirror selfies. You're welcome.
Don't use any face-altering filters such as snapchat’s OG puppy filter. You are a human and this is a dating app, you are fooling no one.
Ladies, try to stay away from using pictures with you in large sunglasses. Multiple men specifically mentioned this as being something 'sketchy'. #SmileWithYourEyes
Try not to have more than 2 selfies... The effort is appreciated but it’s just a little too much.
Try not to be basic. Basic entails: starting off a conversation with a joke as an ice breaker, talking about pineapples on pizza, saying you're 'overly competitive of just about everything', or that you participated in the pooka shell/frosted tips fad.
Don't say things YOU THINK THEY WANT TO HEAR. I.e. You say you're adventurous when you don't actually like to hike or camp, gtfo, Glamping Gloria.
Don't accept a match if you're not going to respond (unless otherwise justified).
Don't use/crop any picture with your ex in it. Leave your past in the past. On that note... don't use any picture with the opposite sex in it. Like we get it, you have girl and guy friends, but you're on a dating app- let's keep the focus on you.
Piggy backing on the above... delete any picture of someone kissing you on the cheek. Ladies and gents, you’d be surprised at how many men have pictures with girls kissing them on the cheek on their dating profile.
Don't bombard your penpal with 5+ messages, you'll look like a spazz.
Don't talk about sex, your ex, your baggage, and gents, sure as hell don't excessively flaunt your money unless you want to attract terrible women and repel the good ones.
DO
Have recent pictures of yourself. This isn't Facebook; your profile picture from 2015 is not permitted here.
Please have pictures of your face, like, we need to see your face, your eyes and your smile. I like to know what I'm getting into beforehand, don't you?
Have high-ish quality pictures. If your pictures are pixilated/low quality, I'll assume you are too (lols sry).
Do have responses that are more than one to two words. Be engaging and charismatic. Possibly pose a question that you genuinely want an answer to or ask for song recommendations. Get creative!!
If you match with someone, respond to their initial message and give them an opportunity to possibly recover from their tame first impression.
Spend some time getting to know each other as pen pals at least for a few days... That way there is less likely of a chance for you to be disappointed when you meet them. Hopefully they are exactly who they present themselves to be via pics and messages, not the expectations you've created for them.
The most rewarding thing you can do if you're on a dating app is to be transparent about what you want and your emotional availability. This will allow you to align with someone who wants the same (a relationship, fling or friendship). This is a perfect way to set your standards and vocalize your values. If people are intimated by them, then they're doing you a favor by swiping left or tapping the X. Thank you, Next.
As promised, here are some of the most outlandish/cringe-worthy profiles/responses that I've seen.
Happy Swiping!
As always, thank you to everyone who added to this!
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